Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I just after 5 a.m. ...

... And I'm sitting on the roof of our building, hoping that the Wi-Fi works. People are singing in the distance. Roosters are still crowing. Both are nothing unusual.
The lights of the city are in the distance. It looks like millions of lights, all on the side if a mountain because they go up and out. I with I could take a pic, but it's too dark. It's beautiful.
A cool wind is swaying through the palm trees and over me.
I'm the only up here - for now. So I'm alone with my thoughts. How to begin? ...
Haiti was what I expected - but also what I didn't expect.

I expected it this journey to be tiring. Yes, it is. There is lots of walking, and I am not a walker. It's hot. You sweat a lot. Water, sun screen and mosquito spray are your best friends.
I expected to be the slow one, and that is true, from my perspective. Our team is AMAZING in their endurance to the work. I take lots of beaks, so in a way I feel like I'm the weakest link here. I feel like I'm slowing them down. But they are putting up with me.
I expected to be emotional, and I am. Seeing how the people here are forced to live, and know how much I have at home, it's heartbreaking. I mean, why can't the money, the wealth be spread around the world more evenly? It's not fair that we have so much when others have close to nothing. And I'm talking about the basics y'all:
• Clean water coming out of faucets, instead of the well they dug in the ground to get water from or the barely-there stream they use to wash.
• Three square meals a day, instead of the one they MIGHT get in a day.
• Clean clothes to change into every day, instead of the dirty ones they wear every day. I'm starting to recognize a couple people we pass as we go to the orphanage because they have on the same clothes. I've even seen two children, both toddler-sized boys, with nothing on. Nothing!
• Shoes on their feet, instead of having to walk across these rocks and broken pieces of glass barefoot. And that's what they're doing.
I expected to be ashamed of myself, because I live so well when so many others don't. And to too it off, they look like me. This could've been me, my life. My ancestors could've been taken ad slaves to Haiti, instead of America. I know I shouldn't think like that, but right now, EVERYTHING is going through my head.
Like I said, emotional.

While things I expected happened, there's been a lot of things I didn't expect.

I expected my adjustment to be harder than it was. Yes, it's is, but I didn't expect to adjust to it like I have. Don't get me wrong, I am not used to this. I'm still out of comfort zone - so far from it. But, I'm surviving it, and enjoying it. I don't need all the trappings I have at home to be content. I like the trappings, but I don't need them.

I didn't expect the people to be so happy. Now, it's not 24/7 by any means - we Americans aren't happy 24/7 either. But you know what? I think Haitians are more joyous than we are. Every day as we go to the orphanage, I see them smiling and laughing as they talk to each other. The greet each other, and us if they know the how to say hi in English. A couple of guys even said "Big Mama, hi" to me and Glenda. That was a riot. (Now, don't try this at home, because I will be offended, because you know better. You have been warned.)
I didn't expect them to be so faithful and devoted to God. I knew from What Darrel and Holli Land have said to us at church, the people worship more passionately than we do. And they do; it's a lot of the churches I grew up in. But what I didn't expect was the dedication. There were worship services all day and night on Sunday, in different places. Choirs have practiced every day since we've been here. The church building is heavily used. People here love God and they aren't afraid to show it. What's wrong with us Americans? Why are we so stuck up and shy about our devotion?
I didn't expect to be OK here. I mean, I knew I'd survive, but I didn't expect to be OK. But I am. I could stay here longer.
I hate that we're going home tomorrow.


  1. Candy,
    Reading this I can hear your compassion and concern. Its obvious that you are ready to make a change! I am with you gf! Reading this it is easy to see that you have made this trip all God wanted it to be. Bit also, I can see your heart changing. I see in your words that you have received an eye opener and you are ready to accept the challenge. I have said it before, I'm saying it again...I'm proud of you! And I am certain that you are not the weak link! You are far from.it! With this blog, you have already begun changing lives here at home! With the opportunity you have with the paper....the possibilities to be strong are endless!! Use them!
    I will pray for a safe trip home for you all! I can't wait to sit and chat with you and hear all about it!
    Luv ya sis!!

  2. Reading your blog brought tears to my eyes! I knew in my heart this would affect you & I knew in time I would see it, read it, or hear it when we talked. But WOW! Your words are so full of love, compassion & more. I am so happy that you made this journey! I love you!